A look at parenting through the ages
===
[00:00:00]
lucy: welcome back to Stages for Ages. I wanted to go back in time a little bit to discuss some of the ways in which parenting has actually changed over the years. ~So I wanted to Maybe forget some of the trends and expert advice that you've probably been seeing and go way back in time and see how parents throughout the ages have raised awesome children ~so the first stop is Really far back in time it is the Paleolithic era.
Around 2. 5 million years ago. We didn't have smartphones, obviously. ~There were no playdates.~ These parents were dealing with saber toothed tigers and woolly mammoths. But their priority at the time was survival. And teaching children to hunt and gather. And avoid becoming a prehistoric lunch, essentially.
So that was the main focus of those times. But where it gets interesting is that anthropologists have unearthed evidence about early childhood in this time. So they've actually found fossilized footprints that show adults carrying children. And the children's teeth suggests [00:01:00] that children were actually weaned at around two and a half years old, which is obviously a lot older than we wean our children now.
It seems that our cave dwelling ancestors also understood the importance of nurturing and close contact, even though they didn't have outside input from that. Another cool fact is that early humans likely lived in small nomadic groups where everyone Shared the responsibility of childcare. ~So this is going right back to the kind of. times of, the original first village parenting concept. ~Grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, everyone pitched in.
We call it Allo Parenting. And this Allo Parenting not only helped ensure the survival of the children, but it also created stronger social bonds and helped with cooperation within the tribes. It makes you think. About the village and it does take a village to raise a child. So fast forward a few millennia to ancient Egypt.
Now things get a little bit more civilized here. We start to see writing hieroglyphics, we've got the [00:02:00] pyramids and surprisingly modern parenting advice. So the Egyptians, believe it or not wrote manuals on childcare. So they were probably one of the first documented parenting experts essentially.
~So they, ~one of them was the instructions of amenopy. I think I've pronounced that right. And these writings stress the importance of breastfeeding, early education, and also toilet training as well. So even toilet training right back into the Egyptian times was something that was focused on. They also, Emphasise discipline but they favoured instruction and guidance over punishment.
So this is very similar to what we're seeing now with the gentle parenting movement or authoritative parenting. One papyrus that has been found advised on it, Do not be harsh, for it is good that he should obey you through love. Which I think sounds very enlightened for 3000 years ago. Toys have also been found in Egyptian tombs, including dolls, [00:03:00] animal figurines, and board games as well.
~Similar board games. Obviously we're not talking Monopoly and Cluedo here, but we are talking their version of board games. ~So even the ancient Egyptians recognized that children need to play. The next stop is going forward in time again, we've got Ancient Greece. This was the birthplace of democracy, philosophy, and some pretty contrasting parenting styles as well.
In Sparta, life was very military. Discipline based young boys were taken from their families at around age seven and they were trained up to be warriors. They endured harsh physical training, meager diets and were encouraged to steal as well to develop cunning essentially. So they were taught to fight and they were taught to survive based off the fact that they needed food.
Girls, on the other hand received training, physical as well to ensure that they would bear strong children and they were also mostly educated at home in skills such as domestic chores and music. Athenian parenting was a bit more [00:04:00] relaxed. Boys from the wealthier families received a well rounded education that included reading, it included writing music, athletics, and maths.
Girls were again, mostly educated at home, such as they, they learned skills, such as sewing, weaving and maintaining a household as well. However, philosophers like Plato, I'm assuming most people have heard of Plato, believe that both boys and girls should receive a similar education, including physical training and intellectual development.
The concept of our school systems that we see now, probably derives from Plato going all that way back. We jump forward in time again to ancient Rome and family life in Rome was central. Family was everything and children were highly valued. Fathers in the household maintained absolute authority.
It was very patriarchal society. But mothers still played an active role in raising children, especially throughout the early years. Education was [00:05:00] highly valued. The Romans also had a concept of what they call Puritia which recognized childhood as a distinct stage of life. And they even had special laws in place to protect children and ensure their welfare and well being as well.
Fast forward to the Middle Ages, now, obviously a lot happened in the Middle Ages, the Roman Empire had fallen, Christianity was on the rise, so how did this affect parenting in these times? The church played a much bigger role. In family life and raising children at this time children were often seen as inherently sinful and parents were responsible for their moral and spiritual development.
Discipline was often strict and physical punishment was common. But the middle ages also saw the rise of chivalry and courtly love. Going out on dates and, courting a person before you jumped straight into sex and marriage. It sort of brought around the I [00:06:00] idealization of childhood in Childhood innocence.
And it emphasized the importance of protection. Essentially, this led to a more sentimental view of children, especially among nobles of the time. We start to go into the Renaissance period now and this was a time of very arty intellectual flourishings. People started thinking about childhood in a completely different way, thanks to philosophers that had emphasised the importance of education and individual development.
So if you think about the Renaissance period, and I think of the ~Little, ~little chunky cherubi pictures that you see.
That is where it came from. So they really started to focus on children being children in this time. Education became more widespread and there was a growing emphasis on developing well rounded individuals. We need to be doing everything together and everyone should be trained in everything. But it is important to remember that this was mostly just down [00:07:00] to the wealthy classes in the society. Many children still face poverty disease and limited opportunities as well. So we move forward quite a little bit now into the 18th century.
Now, this was classified as the Age of Enlightenment. And a lot of scientific discoveries were happening around this time. So we have philosophers like John Locke, we have Jean Jacques Rousseau, who both had very different ideas about children and education. So Locke believed that children were born as blank slates and that their experiences in life shaped who they were and who they became.
He emphasised the importance of education and discipline in shaping a child's character. Rousseau, on the other hand, believed that children were inherently good and that education should focus on nurturing their natural curiosity and their love of learning. ~centred approach which allowed children to explore and learn at their own pace.~
Similar but not quite the same. Now we jump into the Victorian [00:08:00] year. Now, this is all where it falls apart a little bit, I think, for children. So we had the fancy clothes, elaborate manners and there were a lot of rules. There, this is where you have probably heard the common saying children should be seen and not heard.
This is where it came from this period of time. Children were seen as being innocent and they were seen as being pure. But you weren't allowed to be around the adults essentially, as long as you were, sat in the corner being quiet and good, you were okay. But if you were loud and vocal, that was not a good thing.
This era did see, however, the rise of the nuclear family. ~So for those of you that aren't aware, a nuclear family is a mum, a dad and children. Mom and dad are married as well. So you've got mom, dad and children and they're all living in the same household. ~The Queen Victoria herself was a mother and her influence helped to shape the attitudes towards children and family life in this era.
And then finally, we drift into modern day society, so this is us today. Parenting has obviously had many ups and downs and different levels and different eras and different time periods have parented children differently throughout [00:09:00] history. The point of this episode is to show you that there is no right way or wrong way of doing parenting, as long as you are not being abusive and you're not neglectful ~and you're not abusive ~and you are trying your best, there is no right or wrong way to parent a child.
The advice that Stages for Ages give you is there as a guidebook, it is there to help you if you need it and offer support to parents, which we feel is something that is ~slowly ~Sadly lacking in society at the moment, unfortunately, and that's what we wanted to do. We wanted to give a place for parents to be able to come and get support and advice and also gain some knowledge as well around parenting and some of the issues that parenting has.
Every era throughout time has had their own unique approach to raising children, ~and we as a society learnt something every day. a period past. ~Today, we have got a smorgasbord of parenting styles to choose from. So we have attachment parenting, free range parenting, helicopter parenting gentle parenting, permissive parenting, the list [00:10:00] goes on and on.
And it can be overwhelming to decide which box you fit into or you want to follow. But we see it as a good thing that there's different styles because as we say children are unique and you can dip in and out of some of them if that's what pleases you. If, one isn't working, you can try another one.
There's no hard and fast rules on which one you need to follow and why you need to follow them. The important thing is to be present, is to love your children and do what feels right for you. And don't be afraid to take inspiration from the past if you feel like it. Obviously, we don't recommend the Victorian one.
But, yeah, maybe cave parents had a point around the village community. Or maybe the Victorians were onto something with an emphasis on bringing up children with manners. Who knows? So The biggest takeaway from this episode, hopefully, is that no matter what the era is, parents have always wanted the best for their children and for their families.
Whether it is teaching them to hunt a woolly mammoth for food or to navigate the internet and the [00:11:00] world of social media, it's all about love, it's about guidance, and it's about helping them grow into amazing human beings. What I want to know is what parenting style resonates with you. What do you do at the moment or what are you thinking of doing if you're pregnant?
What have you learned from your own parents? Which style did they follow and fall into? Or how did their parents raise them? What were the things that they liked and disliked about how they were raised by their parents, your grandparents? I want to hear your thoughts, I want to hear what you think.
So head over to our social media pages, share your experiences on parenting with us and don't forget to like and subscribe and follow the channel and the podcast and yeah, we will see you next time for the next episode of For All Stages and Ages.
